One of the biggest misconceptions about casual sex is that it’s more likely to lead to physical or emotional damage than non-casual sex. In truth, you’re actually much more likely to find yourself in deep feelings of sadness after casual sex (even if you’re not at fault). In his book How to Have a Good Love Life, love and sex psychotherapist Dr. Rusmani says casual sex often satisfies our “romantic yearnings, and in doing so, we feel emotionally flooded. And sadly, the post-coital glow doesn’t last.”
Your brain just doesn’t feel that satisfied, it feels “thrown back out of the cave.” So, if you don’t find casual sex to be fun, fulfilling, or even emotionally satisfying, that’s not a good sign. It’s the difference between going through the motions at a weekend sex party for men and staying married to your significant other.
Basically, I think it all comes down to your instincts. If you don’t feel good about what’s happening, and if you don’t feel that you’re in control, then why on earth would you risk your body or your emotional safety for some pointless satisfaction? It’s like throwing a party, and asking your friends to bring other people, but then breaking up with them when the party is over, so they don’t bother coming. One of my friends recently quoted something that changed the way I think about casual sex:
What are the actual risks of casual sex?
A lot of people have a pretty unrealistic expectation of casual sex. They think it’s like having sex with a stranger for the first time; they only do it at the weirdest and most uncomfortable of times; and they’re always the one who is uncomfortable. And while I do believe that casual sex is usually much more boring than you might think it would be, that doesn’t mean that it’s not a little less safe than the sex you’d usually have.
Here are a few facts about what to expect from casual sex that are actually pretty straightforward:
Getting involved with a person you don’t know is different from engaging in heterosexual intercourse with a person you do know. If you find yourself in a situation where you’re not safe, that’s your worst nightmare. If you do find yourself in a situation where you’re unsafe, it’s a sign that you should probably reconsider whether or not casual sex is right for you and your situation — regardless of how hot the person is.
No matter how much your partner seems to like you
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